Because i am a little sick and tired of facing humans. Because i am a little sick of everyone. Because i am a little sick of seeing myself such a way that disgust me totally. Because i am so sick of not being at ease around humans. You know at times i get so suffocated around humans. Like i need to react this way. I need to react this way because others think i am someone with such reactions. Or when everyone react in way that expects you to be nice to all.

Like everyone will scrutinize you for every single thing you do wrong. Frowning a little, not smiling a little and people think there's something wrong. I just don't feel like smiling at some time because smiling uses more muscle which makes me tired at the end of the day. That's it.

Why people's insensitivity affect me? Why my insensitivity affect others? Why is it that people can't speak tactfully? Why is it that i can't speak tactfully? Why must humans have feelings. That is not a question. That is a statement actually. Of so many things, the worst thing i ever possess is feelings i think. Why someone's frown can easily be my responsibility or my problem. Why someone's tears can easily become my responsibility.

Humans. I want to be a tree in my next life. I want to be stable in life. I want my life to be monotonous. Just like that.

Oh yes. I did many cleaning up today! Many cleaning up to do. I changed study area too! I moved to the room! The room with the toilet! =0) Teehee! I finally can watch movies and cry my hearts out without feeling awful! =0) Teehee! I love having my own study room! Why we suddenly decided to move back to the rooms instead of having the living room as our study area? Because we realized that we rarely go to our first and last rooms. We spent less than 1hour a day inside those rooms! =0( So we shall each occupy a room! I chose the one with the toilet because I love my toilet! It smells uber nice! Lavender okay! But then, lavender smell too much will turn fatter! =0) So now i can study with one lesser distraction - teevee! =0) But honestly, it isn't of much difference because i have perfect view of the teevee here! =0) I refused to turn my back against the door because i hate not knowing what's behind me. LALA!~ So now i have my own study room! =0) Freaking happy can! But you can see me changing positions like a few months later! So now, i can finally settle down to study! =0)

So, huili if you decide to stay over since you are most probably going to be alone at home this cny, i welcome you with OPEN arms la! =0) Hahas!
Okies! Off to do MORE CLEANING! =0 )
*i feel like i am caked with dust and more dust! =0)